Sunday, October 02, 2005
The Death Spray.
Recently, a weird and suspicious fellow, undoubtedly with questionable intents, has been loitering around her block. She is understandably freaked out. I really fear for her safety too.
And owing to the impossibility of me being by her side 24/7, I had to come out with an alternate plan to provide her with a certain measure of protection. Therefore, I decided to create my very own Pepper Spray. Well, this home-made version of mine has a more ominous and intimidating ring to it. It is called the Death Spray.
Alright, so first I had to find a spray bottle. It was not easy, I could not find a suitable one. So out of desperation, I contemplated using the one that my mom uses for ironing purposes, but then I decided against it as she would most likely scream her head off when she realises that it is missing.
And finally, after a long search, I found a teeny-weeny spray bottle in one of the many cupboards in my house, damn, I was pleased. I proceeded to empty its contents and began assembling the various ingredients that I would require to concoct my deadly Death Spray.
You would need a glob of soap, a dash of soy-sauce, lots of pepper, generous amounts of pesticide from different brands, some chilli oil (not in picture), detergent, insect-repellant and not forgetting the famed Citrus Listerine.
Put them all together, stir well and transfer the devilish mixture into a little spray bottle.
Note: Hold your breath while mixing, I failed to do so and am currently feeling a tad disoriented.
There you have it. The lethal Death Spray - Aim directly at face and spray at will.
Now heed my sagely advice, blasted perverts! Prey on my girl and suffer the raging, toxic wrath of my Death Spray.
Watch me smirk as you writhe and squirm in pure agony! Heh.
PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT!
ARGH! MY FACE!
I CAN"T FEEL IT! I CAN'T SEE!
PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT!