Friday, September 02, 2005
The first of many Bootleg Toy Reviews.
Bootleg toys are a wonder, and it is throughly enjoyable to just study the sheer insanity of these fuckers. They are weird, they are hideous, the paint jobs are sick and there is almost no quality control to speak off, and best of all, their crazy choice of words and mangled text. But if you look hard enough, you might just be able to make sense of things.
Now, let us look at some wholesomely retarded toys.
I found these gems while perusing through the shops at ToaPayoh Central. Please direct your attention to these costumed freaks who resemble the Power Rangers. The rangers all have some golden freakish weapons, which the text helpfully informs us that they are 'superfine weapons'. (top)
And look at what the yellow ranger has, it's a golden-winged sceptre! Yeah, I'm sure her enemies would be shaking with fear.
And it's 'super with lighting'. How can you beat that?
The comedy continues, apparently the gay rangers are supposed to 'fence against the earth'. My goodness. These people obviously have not watched the cartoon.
Yes, that is indeed supposed to be the Incredile Hulk, except that this one looks like some deformed gargoyle-like green caveman in a loincloth. The madness doesn't stop here, the wacky bootleggers just needed to tell us that he's called the Wild Force Hulk Man. Now I'm sure that's an important feature. Who can resist a figurine called the Wild Force Hulk Man?
I've always thought that the yellow ranger was a female. Look at her here! She's either on steroids or on hormone-changing pills.
Superheros? Superheros? WHAT SUPERHEROS? More like gay-fucks with inflated heads. Thumbs up for their efforts on trying to make this package all the more exciting with catch-lines like 'Batman Power Action' and unsuccessfully attempting the lie to us that this toy is 'The Newest Series' (top right)
More hilarity!
I didn't know that Wolverine made an appearance in 'Batman Begins'! Check out the equipments, looks like Batman personally paid a visit to our very own Sungei Road Flea Market.
When you look at these obvious bootlegs of Ultraman, you'd immediately notice that these poor guys are now known as the 'Cosmos Superman'. And I'm sure proclaiming that their 'Head, hand, foot can move!!' would boost their sales. 'Light and phonate!' I guess they are trying to say that these toys emit lights and sound. At least you know you're getting your money's worth.
Some of these shit are really fucking crazy and despite the uninteresting nature of these toys, they are truly great examples of a bootleg; poorly made, but so incredibly interesting that it's impossible to resist examining
I found these gems while perusing through the shops at ToaPayoh Central. Please direct your attention to these costumed freaks who resemble the Power Rangers. The rangers all have some golden freakish weapons, which the text helpfully informs us that they are 'superfine weapons'. (top)
The comedy continues, apparently the gay rangers are supposed to 'fence against the earth'. My goodness. These people obviously have not watched the cartoon.
Superheros? Superheros? WHAT SUPERHEROS? More like gay-fucks with inflated heads. Thumbs up for their efforts on trying to make this package all the more exciting with catch-lines like 'Batman Power Action' and unsuccessfully attempting the lie to us that this toy is 'The Newest Series' (top right)
More hilarity!