My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer a month or so back, and she is in the last stage. Being too advanced in age, she cannot undergo chemotherapy. The doctor estimates that she has but a few scarce months left in this world.
I just visited her this afternoon at my aunt's place in Woodlands, where she is currently staying. She was sleeping when I was there, in her hospital-like adjustable bed with side railings, oxygen tubes running from her nostrils, connected to this whirling, humming, oxygen machine. My parents, uncles and aunts are doing everything possible to make her final days as comfortable as possible. My mom is by her side almost everyday, my aunts take turns preparing her meals, which has to be 100% organically based, and there are the supplements and medicine as well to tend to. My dad and uncles, working on the same rotational basis, keep vigil by her side throughout the night. For me, I try to be there as much as possible. But it is easier said then done, with me having to contend with my national service commitments.
Evidently, it is rather tough on everyone, having to see a loved one faltering and growing weaker with each passing day. It pains me to see how frail my grandma is now, she is so hopelessly weak, and sedated most of the time from the morphine. She is but a pale flickering shadow of her old, jovial self. It also makes me sad to see my grandfather, the free-wheeling gung-ho adventurer, downcast and floundering so helplessly by her bedside.
On a slightly brighter note, it is heart-warming to witness how attentive, committed and loving everyone is to my grandmother in her time of need. It comes as no surprise, as my grandma is, without the slightest doubt, one of the most pleasant and lovable person ever to grace this world. I have never heard my grandma raise her voice, get angry or even appear flustered. She never curses, never complains about anything, never utters a single ill-meant word about anyone. She is kind, scrupulous, impartial, giving, helpful, graceful, polite and so easy-going. She loves me a terribly lot, even though we do not have much in common. In fact, she loves all of us, and with that ever-present smile of hers, she simply radiates happiness.
I will most definitely miss her when she is gone. I am under no false illusions that she would miraculously recover fully and live to see me get married and have kids. I just want to ensure that she will be able to move on peacefully and painlessly, and to have the entire family by her side in her final moments.
Posted at 2:30 pm
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Ultrasone.
I was at Causeway Point today, and I just felt the itch to audition the Ultrasone Edition 9 that Stereo carries.
The Edition 9 is probably the best closed-back headphones one can acquire. I've known about it for a long long time already, but have never gave it go before. Mainly because it costs an arm and a leg, or more specifically, a whooping SGD$1900.
So, I was at Stereo looking fixedly at the Ultrasone range of products. The salesperson felt obligated to engage me in audio small-talk. I suppose he was trying to feel me out, to gauge if I actually knew my stuff. Well, I do know my stuff, and he allowed me to try out the Edition 9.
The fellow handled that pair of headphones with utmost care, as befitting a 1.9K piece of equipment. He lifted it delicately out of the headphone's silver hardcase, and handed it over to me. Time to roll.
So I sat down on the provided stool, which coincidentally blocks half of an aisle, making me feel even more uncomfortable. I was already feeling the pressure of trying out their prized headphones, furthermore there's that dumbass salesguy who's pretending to be busy but in truth eyeing me for any heretic transgressions that I might commit upon their worshipped Edition 9s. That's why I greatly prefer Jaben.
Getting down to business, the Edition 9 is like amazing.
Smooth, pleasing midrange, they got it just right. And that sweet sweet sweet treble which sings high and true but never piercing. Deep, resounding bass, but not the least bit muddy or overwhelming. Beautiful decaying of notes, with some really impressively wide soundstaging. The sound is very rich, and robust, but not being too forward, like the Grados are. Very warm, but not exactly deep colouration. Awesome separation of instruments to boot. Vocals-wise, it favours male ones more, but Eva Cassidy through the Edition 9 sounded oh-so-divine as well.
It's like vintage wine, aged to perfection.
I returned the headphones, and the guy engaged me in more small-talk while wiping down the Edition 9 with some lint-free cloth. And I left feeling awed by another of Germany's fine products.
Posted at 12:53 pm
Monday, June 02, 2008
Fidelity.
Well, till date, 17, 761 people has visited this weblog. My intentions initially were to keep this weblog running as constantly and stably as possible. But it's easier said that done, with all my current commitments. Now this weblog is simply a platform where I can post my sporadic, and most time, incoherent thoughts.
I can't help but admit that I've been holding back a lot of stuff after the repulsive revelation that people in positions are monitoring my weblog for probable signs of heresy, racism, subversion. You get the drift. Hah!
Also, a certain organisation that I'm working for is periodically monitoring this weblog. I kid thee not!
So, seriously, I'm wisely opting to keep my nonsense in check.
And hah, it seems like SDP's Chee Soon Juan and his sister are sentenced to 12 and 10 days of imprisonment respectively. Food for thought!
Anyway, I'm a self-confessed audiophile. In my next post, I'll sit down and thoroughly explain my obsession to you, and hopefully convince and lure you over the the dark side.
I can't write about it now as I'm going out to Novena to meet my babe for some Ayam Penyet. It's fucking good food man!
Posted at 5:27 pm
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Uncontacted tribe in Amazon.
This photo released yesterday depicts members of a tribe in the Amazon rain forest firing arrows at an airplane. Apparently, the tribe has never had any contact with humans outside of their own group. And there are likely many other "uncontacted" tribes in the region too. From National Geographic:
Quote:
"We are very confident the photos are genuine," said Miriam Ross, a spokesperson for Survival International, which estimates that half of the hundred or so uncontacted tribes in the world live in the rain forests of Brazil and Peru.
Some experts say few, if any, tribes have had no outside contact. It's more likely is that previous generations had negative encounters, prompting social taboos that continue to drive clans deeper into isolation.
Due to their vulnerable immune systems, these groups are highly susceptible to diseases borne by outsiders such as missionaries, loggers, or oil workers."
Link:
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/05/080530-uncontacted-tribes-photo.html
Posted at 10:20 am
Monday, May 19, 2008
Shifting Paradigms.
I was looking through my old pictures, and I came across the above image. It is the class emblem for 05A23 that I drew. It was to be printed on our class T-shirt.
Pardon the imagery though, I was really into R.A Salvatore at that point of time. As seen from the twin scimitars that the eagle is clutching in its claws. Hah!
We really were a tight bunch, and I miss everyone of them.
And it suddenly dawned upon me that there have been lots of things that I used to do, that I don't do nowadays.
For one, I used to draw a lot, read and write a lot.
Not to appear haughty, but all through my days as in school prior, the fact that my fortes are writing and drawing are pretty much acknowledged unanimously.
Remnants of those days are my stacks of sketch books, which I can't even remember where I've stashed them.
I still read, definitely. But not as ferociously as before. I don't draw anymore, I just don't feel like it.
Musically wise, I'm pretty much the same. I still find a little time to practise my guitar playing, however, playing seriously like the days before is totally out of the equation. My taste of music has expanded considerably, but that's a story for another day.
I still indulge in guitar-gear, but lesser recently. I've several new interests, such as Hi-Fi equipments. It's amazing how I've managed to sum this new interest up in a few succinct words, 'Hi-Fi equipments'. If only it were that simple. But then again, if it were that straight-forward and shallow, I'd probably not have taken an interest to it.
I'm using Hi-Fi as a very broad term. There are the million different kinds speakers, cables, amps, headphones, in-ear monitors, tubes, CD players, formats, whatever fuck.
There's a library's worth of knowledge involved and I'm devouring every little bit with an insatiable appetite. And also, my ears have become very much more sensitive. I always been always to tell what's a good guitar tone, but that's quite easy. It's something else to be able to hear what's good and bad from a Hi-Fi enthusiast point of view. I'm turning into a bona-fide audiophile!
I foresee that I'll soon learn almost every thing that is relevant. Just like how I've studied guitar-gear and all it's thousand and one nuances. And then, tsk tsk, I'd have to move on and start consuming more knowledge on another newly chosen field of expertise.
Knowledge is power!
Posted at 5:01 pm
Blessed are the sick. Blessed are the poor.
Ignorance is bliss.
Posted at 12:08 pm
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Man Utd 4, West Ham 1.
Today was extraordinary!
I somehow managed to get my dear girl to catch the Man Utd -West Ham match with me.
And I also somehow managed to get the score correct.
I dreamt a few days earlier that it would a 4-1 victory to Man Utd.
And I was spot on!
Posted at 12:13 am
Saturday, April 05, 2008
The Truth.
Our world rates wealth over courage, and comfort over commitment.
We think that nothing will ever disturb our lives.
We are surprised when people get sick and die.
We think that technology can fix everything.
We take our safety for granted.
We have more degrees but less sense.
We have more medicine but less wellness.
We have added years to life, not life to years.
We build everything bigger, but not necessarily better.
We have more convenience but less time.
We have more communication but less understanding.
We make heroes out of actors but have no idea who the real heroes are.
Posted at 11:34 pm
Saturday, March 29, 2008
New Music.
Recently, there has been quite an influx of new albums. So far, I've gotten my hands on the following,
At the Gates - Slaughter of the Soul (Reissue)
Death Angel - Killing Season
'Slaughter of the Soul' is probably At the Gate's most critically acclaimed album. This reissue album is an opportunity for a fan to experience one the genre's pioneers in their heyday. Awesome stuff.
Death Angel, well, what can I say. They are thoroughly invigorated in this album, as opposed to the earlier one, where they seemed to be still finding their footing. Really, really, good material.
Other albums include,
In Flames - A Sense of Purpose
Meshuggah - obZen
Children of Bodom - Blooddrunk
Exodus - The Atrocity Exhibition
Steve Lukather - Ever Changing Times
The Black Crowes - Warpaint
Toto - Greatest Hits
I really enjoyed them all, except for the new offering from the Black Crowes. I found it really unfocused, and I got bored very quickly. But still, if you are a Black Crowes fan, you would still appreciate what they are doing in 'Warpaint'.
Exodus's 'The Atrocity Exhibition' was a blast. I was never a fan, as I have never really took the effort to check them out. ZY's recommendation was the impetus, and I am glad that I got acquainted with this band. I especially enjoyed 'Bedlam 123'.
Meshuggah's 'obZen' was a sheer barrage of metal monstrosity. It is one blistering album. But, nothing compared to their earlier offerings. If you have been a long time fan of the band, you would have noticed their evolving sound. 'obZen' has none of the compressed choppiness and changeability of the Meshuggah's albums of the 90's. In fact, this is one of their most consistent album to date. You can track the change from 95's 'Destroy Erase Improve', and then 'Catch 33', and now this. Although it might disappoint some hardcore fans, I am definitely one to agree with their current state of work.
As a fan of Alexi Laiho, you cannot help but be blown away by 'Blooddrunk'. I know I am shortchanging the other members in the band, but Laiho is pretty much on fire in this offering.
Steve Lukather is one of the best guitarist around. And I just had to get his new album, of which is surprisingly refreshing, yet still showcasing his trademark licks and polished chops. And along with this album, I also got Toto's 'Greatest Hits' album which not so coincidentally, also features the great mustachioed Steve Lukather.
Okay, I have lots more to say, but frankly my eyes are getting tired from staring at the screen.